6 Great Things About Adoption

Today on my brother's birthday I am thinking about the joys of adoption.  We are siblings through adoption.  There are many reasons I think adoption is wonderful, these are just a few from my personal experience.

1. Best Gift - All children are a gift and for me adoption is the best gift of all because this is how I got a brother. When my brother was 9 years old a bully at his school was teasing him about being adopted.  My brother's response was excellent.  He said, "My parents picked me and yours were stuck with you".
2. Superior Gene Pool - My brother is more easy going, patient and gracious than I am. Temperament traits have a biological basis influenced by environment.  We had the same environment.
3. Parenting Practice - I am 13 years older than my brother and gained great parenting experience caring for a baby. 
4. Keeps Parents Young - My parents were 41when we adopted my brother.  Keeping up with him kept our parents active and fit.  My Dad learned to ski at 50 because his 9 year old son wanted to learn.  
5. Baby of the Family - After my brother's arrival I was no longer the baby of the family.  As our parents focused on their baby I enjoyed my teen years with very little parental interference.
6. Greatest Sibling Names - My brother and I have the same name. He is Don and I am Dawn. Yes, it is absolutely nuts and makes for a great story. Leave a Happy Birthday Greeting for Don in the comments section if you want to know how this came about.

In the birth announcement my parents placed in their local newspaper they wrote, "Announcing the arrival of our chosen son". I think this is beautiful and it says it all.  Happy Birthday Don! Your birthday was a gift to me.

For adoption resources and support click here http://www.nacac.org

10 Tips To Help Kids "Listen"

 Do you ever feel kids just “don’t listen”? Young children have some fundamental differences in hearing perception that inhibit communication. Here are 10 tips to encourage “listening”.

 1.  Auditory Figure Ground - Children have a harder time than adults separating speech from     background noise. Even though your child may look at you when you say their name in a noisy environment the rest of what you say is likely lost in a sea of sounds. Get close, make eye contact and speak up.

 2.  Auditory Memory – Young children have a hard time remembering long directions. As a rule of thumb young children can remember one direction per year of age. “Put your shoes on and get your coat” is two directions. Use few words, short sentences and give one direction at a time rather than several in a row.

 3.  Auditory Brain Stem Response– Due to brain differences girls process speech faster than boys. When speaking to young children use fewer words and talk more slowly so they have an easier time processing what you say. This is especially important for boys.

 4.  Girls Have More Sensitive Hearing – Girls perceive men’s deeper voices as louder. A man’s increased volume when speaking to girls may be perceived as yelling. Men should speak to girls in a slightly lower volume.

 5.  Boys Perceive Women’s Voices as Quiet – Women should try to increase their volume and/or get close when speaking to boys, making it easier for boys to “hear” them.

 6.  Women Have a Confusing Inflection – Even when making declarative statements women have an inflection at the end of speaking that may be perceived as questioning. “Time to go” may be heard as “Time to go?”

 7.  Temporary Threshold Shift – Exposure to loud noise creates a temporary hearing loss and over time causes a permanent hearing loss. Children’s car seats are generally on the back seat of a car between the sound system speakers. Turning up the volume beyond conversational levels will give your child a temporary hearing loss that will last up to 24 hours.

 8.  Yelling Shuts Down Listening – Yelling at children puts them in a state of “fight or flight” and creates an automatic reaction to run or “fight” back. This shuts down “listening” and cooperation. 

9.  Give a Warning - Get your child’s attention before you speak to them. Say your child’s name and let them know you want to talk to them such as, “John, I’d like to talk to you for a minute” or “John, please look at me. I want to talk to you”. See # 10 below

 10.  Eye Contact – Studies show 7% of any message is expressed with words, 38% with vocal elements and 55% through non-verbal elements. Make eye contact with your child to make sure you are both looking at each other and engaged in communication.